To: The Boss
Date: August 8
My roomies have a summer job moving barrels of toxic chemicals from one end of an old warehouse to the other. They come home smiling, turn on the stereo, pass a pipe, and cook vegetarian. Thor gets laid every night, always a different woman and always beautiful. Goat-man’s almost as lucky. Not so, me.
I don’t understand why you have me working the hours you do. I’ve never been an early-riser. Still, if you insist I be at my office before the birds rise, I’m there for your latest directive. Maybe I should note that my Nordic roomies will both be seniors this fall. Thor’s leaning toward business administration, in a practical sort of way, while Goat-man’s more of an artist who seems to love building – sculpture, geometry, wires. For now, they mostly like to party.
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