“You are invited to participate in the Office Gift Fund. Its purpose is to have ready monies for flowers, presents, etc., in case of sickness, weddings, and such things as farewell parties. It eliminates the nuisance of having someone take up a collection from time to time and removes the inequities in giving resulting from such collections. …”
Lizard Lady, attempting to dance, keeps falling. She won’t face her fears. My fear is loneliness. Which is also a source of energy. I cannot let it paralyze me. But it does. Lizard Lady throws everything back in my face – my intellectual inability to relate to others (“You play ‘cute’ – I don’t like that”), my differences, my weak physique, my indecisiveness, my passivity. But that is me. I must accept and love it.
If she wants a football player, she can have him. I really bet he’ll love her bel canto soprano.
Sometimes I feel like there’s been a major lapse of time. In my life, especially. Especially how I got from 12 to 21, with an interlude for a driver’s license.
Here’s something intriguing I’ve learned.
Mercedes hates flowers. When she was five, her relatives forced her to kiss the carcass farewell. An aunt in a coffin. So flowers remind her of funerals – death and birth, eternal circle. As well as being forced to do something against your will. Parental coercion. It forms an interesting mix.
She’s also taught me that two dancers can fly together. Mercedes is an incredible dancer, with or without Wolf Jester. She and Thor or Goat-man were fabulous, when I saw them. Something better than words flowed between them.