Big Inca

To: Bill

From: The Boss

Date: August 12

That should tell you something.

I hope you’re taking precautions.

She doesn’t seem to know which side she stands on. On sleeps on.

And she’s not giving you any insights into the yrUBbury conflict. That can be good, if it’s giving you a respite from what’s happening – or bad, if she’s purely a diversion.

If you need to get away, just wait till you see New Orleans. Or taste it. Or hear it.

I think you have your hands full for now.

So what are you doing for the Present Company?

~*~

For the full story, click here: BIG INCA

Big Inca

To: The Boss

From: Bill

Date: August 9 

You’ve got to be kidding. I don’t even know where the office is these days. Yours, I mean, not mine. And I’ve never met anyone from there, except when they’re here, which makes for a curious dynamic.

On the emotional front, Lizard Lady has decided:

  • She really hates Noah, he’s really messed up.
  • She pities him (what did Spinoza have to say about pity???).

Shortly after that, following a 10-minute confrontation, she was weeping. She had told him to get lost.

He condemned her because:

  • She likes school more than he does.
  • She took him in to food and shelter like a puppy – “I don’t like that!”
  • She’s afraid of getting involved.
  • She won’t trust him.
  • She won’t fuck him.
  • She won’t take off with him to go nowhere.
  • She won’t give him anything, even though he promised: “I’ll give you anything you want.”
  • She’s not free.

He’s twenty-eight, plays guitar and banjo, and sings. He has no home and no income. He’s a parasite who thinks everything should be free.

He doesn’t like classical: “It’s not People’s Music. They can’t understand it.” Dismisses opera: “Why be better if you’re good?” Literature, ditto. So much for her fields.

Looks like a sandy-haired, sour Allen Ginsberg. She was crying and apologized to me: “You shouldn’t see me like this.” A flood of tears.

Later, we wrestled and LAUGHED we felt so good. So I CAN get THROUGH to her!

I need to wrestle, tease, play more – that’s why I wanted Sylvia, the Staten Island nymph.

~*~

For the full story, click here: BIG INCA

Big Inca

To: Bill

From: The Boss

Date: August 8

I thought I’d pass this along:

“You are invited to participate in the Office Gift Fund. Its purpose is to have ready monies for flowers, presents, etc., in case of sickness, weddings, and such things as farewell parties. It eliminates the nuisance of having someone take up a collection from time to time and removes the inequities in giving resulting from such collections. …”

Just wait till you see Montreal.

~*~

For the full story, click here: BIG INCA

Big Inca

To: The Boss

From: Bill

Date: August 7  

Lizard Lady, attempting to dance, keeps falling. She won’t face her fears. My fear is loneliness. Which is also a source of energy. I cannot let it paralyze me. But it does. Lizard Lady throws everything back in my face – my intellectual inability to relate to others (“You play ‘cute’ – I don’t like that”), my differences, my weak physique, my indecisiveness, my passivity. But that is me. I must accept and love it.

If she wants a football player, she can have him. I really bet he’ll love her bel canto soprano.

~*~

For the full story, click here: BIG INCA

Big Inca

To: The Boss

From: Bill

Date: August 5 

OK, maybe I’m not so entangled.

Sometimes I feel like there’s been a major lapse of time. In my life, especially. Especially how I got from 12 to 21, with an interlude for a driver’s license.

Here’s something intriguing I’ve learned.

Mercedes hates flowers. When she was five, her relatives forced her to kiss the carcass farewell. An aunt in a coffin. So flowers remind her of funerals – death and birth, eternal circle. As well as being forced to do something against your will. Parental coercion. It forms an interesting mix.

She’s also taught me that two dancers can fly together. Mercedes is an incredible dancer, with or without Wolf Jester. She and Thor or Goat-man were fabulous, when I saw them. Something better than words flowed between them.

~*~

For the full story, click here: BIG INCA

Big Inca

To: Bill

From: The Boss

Date: August 4

Ring-a-ding-ding! Just wait till you see the Liberty Bell.

Let me guess about Lizard Lady’s body. Or better yet, send me a map.

Nor have you placed her in any of the circles, precisely. Much less connected her to Noah’s.

Yes, these diversities really can be confusing. But they don’t have to create aversion.

Sounds like you two have had some good times, too. Right?

~*~

For the full story, click here: BIG INCA